Ever have someone tell you ‘oh don’t take it personally’ when you feel like someone has attacked you or someone else? Like maybe kids or parents on your case loads?
Yeah Me too.
Sometimes it is delivered in statements like
‘she’s too emotionally involved with that child’
‘You’ve got to have better boundaries’
And it’s so disempowering.
Like it’s on me to manage better, rather than others to be more…..I dunno…kind?
I get it.
If we take everything as a directly personal attack we will most likely crumble.
But sometimes - it bloody is personal - and if it feels personal that’s got to be ok right?
A child being hurt. That’s personal.
A mother being discriminated against? That’s personal.
Systems abusing service recipients or staff or re-traumatising? Definitely personal.
When I feel personally attacked I want someone to listen to me, validate how I feel and bring empathy and compassion to me. Not fob me off with a statement of ‘don’t take everything so personally’ ‘don’t get so emotionally involved’
And yes, there is a balance, a line of course. But could we agree to take a pause before we offer this sort of commentary?
In our work, when we talk about cases, children, adults, each other we need to remember it is all so very personal.
When we forget the ‘people’ we run the risk of dehumanising them and we simply must be keenly aware of this all the time. And challenge it in others.
What are all the ways you see this dehumanising in your work? When you see it do you call it out?
Cruelty to humans is personal
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